NAVY HUMOR
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THEN AND NOW
The reason the military is weaker - 1945 And Now
(Why the US doesn't win wars any more)
- 1945-
- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a .30 caliber bullet and killed the enemy.
- Now-
- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber bullet, and wound the enemy.
- 1945-
- The winning side used a US made .45 Caliber pistol, The losers used a European 9mm.
- Now-
- We use a European 9 mm pistol. Nobody uses the .45.
- 1945-
- If you said "damn", people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
- Now-
- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.
- 1945-
- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
- Now-
- Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.
- 1945-
- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
- Now-
- We put the real thing in the cockpit.
- 1945-
- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.
- Now-
- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.
- 1945-
- You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
- Now-
- You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you are out of ammo.
- 1945-
- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
- Now-
- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic.
- 1945-
- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect.
- Now-
- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.
- 1945-
- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
- Now-
- They collect our pee and analyze it.
- 1945-
- If you don't act right, the commander might put you in the stockade till you straighten up.
- Now-
- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.
- 1945-
- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
- Now-
- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.
- 1945-
- You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
- Now-
- You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.
- 1945-
- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
- Now-
- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.
- 1945-
- We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
- Now-
- We cant even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia.
- 1945-
- If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.
- Now-
- You go to the Community Center and can still play pool.
- 1945-
- If you wanted a beer and conversation you could go to the NCO or Officers Club.
- Now-
- The beer will cost you $1.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.
- 1945-
- You could buy quartermaster gas tax free because it was on a military reservation.
- Now-
- AAFES charges you the tax but pockets the money themselves because it is on a military reservation.
- 1945-
- The BX/PX had bargains for GI's who didn't make much money.
- Now-
- You can get better merchandise cheaper at Wal Mart.
- 1945-
- We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
- Now-
- We are wearing the Nazi helmets.
- 1945-
- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
- Now-
- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.
- 1945-
- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy.
- Now-
- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial.
- 1945-
- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
- Now-
- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
- 1945-
- After the war, you could buy your own rifle off the government,cheap.
- Now-
- You cant be trusted with your own rifle, and you'll be jailed if you ever get one.
- 1945-
- Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.
- Now-
- Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important panty raids.
- 1945-
- We knew we were fighting for freedom. The country was committed to winning.
- Now-
- We don't know what we are fighting for. The government is committed to Socialism.
- 1945-
- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
- Now-
- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.
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